Journal #21

Julia Moura

Prof. Jesse Miller

English 110-G

15 April 2019

Journal #21


Since our peer review session on Wednesday, I have worked on so many different pieces of my paper. I started by fixing the little comments that my group had for me. Such as framing my introduction in a different way. They had all thought my intro was well written but there was some confusion of where my thesis was even located within the paper. I reworked my words there to ensure my thesis was clearer rather than scattered throughout the intro. Then I quickly adjusted some of my sentence level errors. Next, I worked on an additional paragraph I had talked to my group mates about adding. They thought it would be a nice mesh to the rest of the paper and I agreed. Hopefully, the paragraph is what we all expected. Then I wrote a conclusion paragraph that was short and sweet but covered all the necessary inclusions. I then went through and made sure all of my quotes were useful and elaborated well. I also checked to make sure they were all introduced and weren’t just hanging there. When I read through what I thought would be my final draft, I realized I still wasn’t happy with the way it came out. To solve this, I have had many other people read it as well and provide me with their own feedback. Most of it was something I had thought of but did not really realize it. I tried to fix it to the best of my ability but definitely still have some aspects of the paper I would like to further work on. My goal is for the reader to really establish an opinion of their own.